Posted by Abu Abdurahman | No Comments yet
First I thank Allah for blessing me with a wonderful wife, who is ready to do whatever it takes to help us reach our goals for this life and the next, and bear with patience all hardships that come along the path. Without her help our homeschooling experience would fall apart. She’s the woman behind the curtain doing most of the work, while maintaining the house and all of the daily chores that come along with it. From the crack of dawn until nearly midnight every day she works nonstop. If she is not cooking, or cleaning, or washing, or ironing, or organizing, or feeding, she’s teaching. She teaches math, science, reading, writing, and Quran. When I’m overwhelmed with work and studies she covers my lessons with the kids. There is no weekend for her and there is no vacation, because it’s not a 9-5 but it’s a lifestyle. The strength it takes to maintain such a schedule is something I can only envy. May Allah bless her, and all of the Muslim wives and mothers out there who are doing the same as I know for certain she is not alone.
It is for that reason that as I would like to give her some advice I know that it is relevant for many others like her, and for that reason I would like to share it with you. As I have stated before, our children are a blessing from Allah and our gratitude will be shown in how we raise them. I take no shyness in saying that for those of us who have the ability to, and do homeschool our children, are taking a step in the direction of thankfulness for that blessing.
Although you are busy in good deeds from morning until night, it is important that you feed your spiritual tank in order to make it through the journey. Many times we give and give, but you need to take as well. The benefits and blessings of fixing a certain time during your daily routine for yourself are many. Increasing our Eman through learning and other acts of worship will give us the energy and faith to push forward especially though those difficult days. At the end of the day, the more you have the more you can give. It’s a blessing to try and guide our children but we also have to take care of ourselves. As we believe that faith increases and decreases it is important that we put in place ways to protect ourselves from falling into a rut. We have to make time for ourselves and our own spiritual development.
Here are some ideas of things you could add to your daily schedule, staying consistent with just one of them may prove to make a big difference.
- Take time out to pray extra prayers
- Read a specified amount of Quran a day
- Memorize a set portion of Quran each day, even if it’s just one verse
- Read the seerah of the prophet sallalahu alaihi wa salam
- Listen to lectures especially while you work
- Read a book before bed something to soften the heart
- Remembering Allah. SubhanAllah is light on the tongue and heavy on the scale.
Ways to get time in for extra stuff.
- The number one most important thing is to try to get to bed as early as possible. Now I know that can be difficult while managing the children and taking care of your husband, especially if he comes home late from work or other activities, but the sooner you can get to bed the better. The main reason for this is that you want to take advantage of those hours after fajr before everyone wakes up and starts putting their demands on you. It’s tempting to just crash right after prayer, but staying awake and getting in some time for yourself will give you energy and make you feel better about yourself and more productive throughout the day. During this time a lot can be accomplished, from memorization, or a consistent reading program of anything from tafsir, to fiqh, to Aqeedah. The prophet peace be upon him said “Whoever sets upon a path of seeking knowledge, Allah will make easy for him the path to Paradise”.
- Utilize the prayer times. All of us have to take time out to pray and it’s a good time to squeeze in an extra five minutes of personal time. If we were to just read 4 pages of Quran after each prayer we would finish a Juz every day, and complete the Quran every month. The Prophet peace be uphon him said “The best of you is the one who learns the Qurán and teaches it”. What a blessing it is to learn the Qurán and extract lessons from it and apply it to your life and your interactions with your children and their lessons.
- You can multitask through listening. Using a radio/mp3 player and placing it in the kitchen while you cook, or clean can take otherwise wasted time and turn it into a big benefit.
- Get your husband to help, if possible. I see it as really important that my wife continues to progress in her studies of Islam. One of the things that I do to try and make this possible is we try to set a time where I take the kids to spend time with them or study with them, where she is able to go lock herself in a room for a period of time without interruption. The Prophet peace be upon him said “The best of you is the one who is best to his family, and I am the best to my family.”